bloody coding bloody well bugger it all

Dear lazyweb, I am in need of some internet/codemonkey skills.

I am in the midst of designing something I do not know enough to build. Would anyone like to help out in exchange for some writing or photography?

I'm toying with a shop, a mapped gallery, and some other things which would be easy for someone who knows how but night impossible to for me figure out without wasteful hours of limping code.