Well, I didn't think I'd see a time where I'd be stumping you. That being said, I expect that my pop-culture shorthand may realy a little to much on an assumption of its common knowledge.
It's a lot to say in one gulp of text, but basically, my intellectual self, the things I know and learn, and my primal self, my needs and wants, my drives that keep me going, they are not on a first name basis with each other most of the time. (I don't know if I'm necessarily high-strung, but at a social setting such as Skank, I find myself relying on alcohol as a social lubricant, both without and within: It enables me to be a little less withdrawn, a little more in tune with myself.)
A lot of the ways in which I approach this division is to look upon it as being similar to what takes place in the heads of characters such as Nicholas de Brabant, or Liam of Galway (aka Angel) -- or indeed any "good guy with fangs." These creatures are mostly human, not monsters, but they still have a very enhanced id (reinforcing the metaphor of the vampire as representative of predatory sexuality), which they struggle against. I don't think I'm quite so bad, but I do sometimes fear what I might be capable of if all my restraints were gone. (So I'm a very responsible drinker, by and large.)
I probably shouldn't fear so, I don't think I'd be ripping out throats, but I am a little hobbled sometimes, in that I sometimes fear to express my wants, needs, desires -- and when I do it's often so filtered through my intellect that it comes out stilted, which can sometimes put people off.
So it was nice to feel, by proxy, how you let it all out, just let the words flow from the base of your brain, describing details and events in the same breath, the same compression of thought. I don't know that I could ever do that myself, but it gave me a little thrill to read it as it happened to you.
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Re: intellect and id. And vampires, gotta have them.
Date: 2006-03-03 12:03 pm (UTC)It's a lot to say in one gulp of text, but basically, my intellectual self, the things I know and learn, and my primal self, my needs and wants, my drives that keep me going, they are not on a first name basis with each other most of the time. (I don't know if I'm necessarily high-strung, but at a social setting such as Skank, I find myself relying on alcohol as a social lubricant, both without and within: It enables me to be a little less withdrawn, a little more in tune with myself.)
A lot of the ways in which I approach this division is to look upon it as being similar to what takes place in the heads of characters such as Nicholas de Brabant, or Liam of Galway (aka Angel) -- or indeed any "good guy with fangs." These creatures are mostly human, not monsters, but they still have a very enhanced id (reinforcing the metaphor of the vampire as representative of predatory sexuality), which they struggle against. I don't think I'm quite so bad, but I do sometimes fear what I might be capable of if all my restraints were gone. (So I'm a very responsible drinker, by and large.)
I probably shouldn't fear so, I don't think I'd be ripping out throats, but I am a little hobbled sometimes, in that I sometimes fear to express my wants, needs, desires -- and when I do it's often so filtered through my intellect that it comes out stilted, which can sometimes put people off.
So it was nice to feel, by proxy, how you let it all out, just let the words flow from the base of your brain, describing details and events in the same breath, the same compression of thought. I don't know that I could ever do that myself, but it gave me a little thrill to read it as it happened to you.