(no subject)
Apr. 25th, 2006 03:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foxtongue
Walking down the dock felt natural. Finding no key in her pocket did not. She sighed, unable to understand how she could have forgotten something so simple. It felt like a holiday, being here, sitting on the dirty deck of the boat, as if even stepping foot off of the earth was a reprieve from her day to day life. Uncertain what to do about the key, which was likely sitting on a table an hour away, she looked down at the dirty water, wishing she were somewhere it was possible to swim. She'd love to slip out of her clothing and bravely splash foot first into the ocean, but this water was grimy, covered in a scum of sea-wrack and oil. Instead she looked about, trying to remember if there was a spare tucked away somewhere. Under the plant pot would be too easy, but it reminded her of the small window at the prow. They didn't lock it, thinking it was too small for anything but the boat cat to crawl through. She stood, balancing against the rock of the craft, and decided it was time to prove herself wrong.
The paperclip guy has finally traded himself a house.
Sunday night, for a lark, Stephanie, her teacher friend, and I wrote a love letter by popular consensus over drinks at the bar at Moxie's. (I told the bartender what we were doing and he gave me a free drink.) It came out strange. Our three personalities laying out the groundwork for an intimate exchange didn't create a cohesive whole. I feel like my words sit on the surface of the elementary sentences like oil on water in a tourist shop toy.
When we finally made that connection, you made me forget myself. I looked into those mesmerizing blue eyes and I felt something in my soul change. I felt my sadness slip away, to be replaced by the feeling of light serenity. When I dance with you, I feel transported, as if my limbs were made of silk. Before we were together, I felt like I was sleep walking, but your kiss has brought life into sharp focus.
Somehow we managed to cover all the bases in such a way that I don't feel like there's any effective communication. I think part of it is that the three of us have wildly differing needs in our relationships. We're all three monogamous, but Stephanie is a very strong Men Are Pigs type, and though her friend is a bit more laid back, she also inherently believes that every one of them will cheat on her, while I yearn more for grace than control. My control issues are invisible, cloaked in my absolute trust. My need, instead, is to be essential, but from what I've gathered, they're more concerned with getting regular sex than being necessary. It was an odd realization. I'm not sure what most people expect.
Why did I never notice that Bob Marley was sexy?
Now this is a real opening: She thought, There must be a hundred thousand dollars here. A man attacked me, chocked me, bit my neck, burned my hand, then stuffed my shirt full of money and put a dumpster on me and now I can see heat and hear fog. I've won Satan's lottery.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-04-25 11:23 pm (UTC)2. Spit or swallow? Justify your choice. Use both sides of the paper if necessary.
3. What is the most deplorable act that you have ever done and allowed to be photographed?
4. In a recent Questionable Content comic, Dora describes having a partner who is sexually aroused by urination as 'you only need that kink sprung on you once before you start asking in advance.' What kinks have been sprung on you once, and what kinks do ask about in advance?
5. So when are you and
you fail
Date: 2006-04-25 11:34 pm (UTC)2. You should have been more specific. This could be about anything I choose for it to be. I've decided ice-cream. I swallow ice-cream.
3. .. I'm not sure if I've ever done anything deplorable. The worst photos I've got were an ill-done set of retro-erotic shots I did with an ex where we actually set fire to our livingroom by accident. I've actually been considering posting one or two of them just for fun. Not only do the ones I'm thinking of nt show anything, they look so much like Janis Joplin that most people simply assume they're her.
4i. Submission, hoods, and hand-cuffs, though only the first two were bothersome.
4ii. None.
5. When we are paid ludicrous obscene amounts of money to do so. Also, when we are flown to Italy.
Re: you fail
Date: 2006-04-26 12:20 am (UTC)You are such a goddess Jhayne!
Xox
no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 12:24 am (UTC)Re: you fail
Date: 2006-04-26 02:16 am (UTC)Re: you fail
Date: 2006-04-26 04:32 am (UTC)Re: you fail
Date: 2006-04-26 06:55 am (UTC)Re: you fail
Date: 2006-04-26 03:26 pm (UTC)I can totally see that. In fact, when next we meet, and play 1000 blank cards, I'm going to make at least 50 of them say, "Stand up and do a rendition of 'crybaby'".
no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 05:24 pm (UTC)Re: you fail
Date: 2006-04-30 01:50 pm (UTC)*he told everyone to bother you for this!*
Date: 2006-04-27 10:34 pm (UTC)feel free
Date: 2006-04-27 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 01:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 03:22 am (UTC)4 questions
Date: 2006-04-26 01:49 am (UTC)Do you prolong the periods where you feel shameful to teach yourself a lesson?
Do you ever use cowardice as a source of strength?
What would you never do, even in exchange for your heart's desire?
Are you doing what you want to do?
Re: 4 questions
Date: 2006-04-26 05:35 am (UTC)How do you feel about guys who can't follow instructions and don't read so good?
Re: 4 questions
Date: 2006-04-26 06:59 am (UTC)Re: 4 questions
Date: 2006-04-26 06:58 am (UTC)2. I'm not sure. There will be times when I feel I should do something just because I feel threatened by them. I'll say that thing or climb that overly tall ladder just because I should be the sort of person who can do those things.
3. Kill a lover.
4. Course not and of course I am, all at once.
questions
Date: 2006-04-26 03:46 am (UTC)2. what was your most amazing dream?
3. when you can't sleep, what do lie in bed and think of?
4. if you had to wake up tomorrow as someone else, who would that be?
5. what color is the sky in your world?
Re: questions
Date: 2006-04-26 07:06 am (UTC)2. that he did
3. I don't. I fiddle on the internet talking with people all over the world until I can't type any longer, then crawl into bed. (The computer is at the foot of the bed).
4. mark romanek? gregory colbert? a happier more satisifed with her life me?
5. this is vancouver, it is ever and always gray.
Re: questions
Date: 2006-04-27 08:28 am (UTC)"Naekkae! Look! The sky!"
"What about it, honey?"
"It's...BLUE!!!"
she was so surprised and delighted. you can tell the ones who grow up in the northwest.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 04:13 am (UTC)2. What will the title of your memoirs be?
3. For what city, please?
4. Why is your favourite sexual fantasy your favourite sexual fantasy?
5. What do you desire?
no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 07:08 am (UTC)2. The infallibility of Being Interesting.
3. Somewhere with history, a venice or a rome or a london england, or a gand cascade of temples place, somewhere with two moons and angels and technology that wants my dna.
4. I keep trying to have one, but haven't figured out how they work yet, so sorry. Not Applicable.
5. For my needs to be met in such a way that I cause the least harm to the world while accomplishing the most extra joys.
that 'love' letter is the funniest - it's like something parodying the 1920s
Date: 2006-04-26 10:19 am (UTC)That's exactly what I hate: to be needed as opposed to wanted. I want us to be a magnificent addition to each other's lives, that we might walk away and still be complete, but because it's so good and we care and laugh (and fuck 'til we can hardly stand), we choose to be together from free will and not from fear of being without the other.
Oh whoops, I was meant to ask this at the end of that post, in completion of my memage duties. I is bad LJer. Thinking hard for personal/inappropriate nature....mmmmmm.....OK:-
1)have you ever/fairly regularly got to the bottom of your clean knicker supply and had to select from the least dirty?
2)about what age were you when you became aware of your clitoris (not necessarily by name)?
3)period sex? (no, eugh/ fine, if it's on his sheets/ what's the issue?/ some other answer)
4)Your father - what would you do if you bumped into him in the street/ he walked into your shoe shop?
5)what did you steal?
exactly, as if we followed instrucions from a book "pt 2. mention his eyes"
Date: 2006-04-26 05:20 pm (UTC)1, It's so much easier to go without, don't you think?
2. The clitoris has never been a magic button for me, so I'm not sure how you mean. It's just part of the package. I learned the word and which bit it was when I was old enough to read The Women's Handbook.
3. Put a towel down.
4. I don't have a glib answer for that one. I honestly have no idea. Remain rooted to the spot with terror for a moment, maybe. If it were the store, I would perhaps try to act as if I didn't recognize him while quietly calling the police.
5. I embezzled once, a long time ago, when I was still a teenager, but I did it so well that they gave me a promotion to a position where they paid me a high enough wage that I was finally financially secure and didn't have to anymore.
I'm now imagining a 'lust' letter written from the same corny instruction book!
Date: 2006-04-26 08:47 pm (UTC)Um; no, because it's easier to wash knickers than all my skirts. Also, I cycle everywhere, rarely wear trousers, and have been know to wear short skirts or dresses, so I'd feel too vulnerable out and about flashing my fanny* at all an sundry. I'm so fucking proper!
2. The clitoris has never been a magic button for me,
Sort of likewise: I'm mean, it's important, but not as important as the rest of the business. It was one of the bits I loved in Doris Lessing's 'The Golden Notebook' when she argues with her doctor boyfriend who tells her that all orgasms are clitoraly derived, and she talks about these two quite separate experiences, and I went, 'yes, yes, yes'.
3. Put a towel down.
Indeed: though it makes it all a bit contrived and static. It's handy to have a man who's happy to wash sheets.
4. I imagined that was hard and meant to put parenthesis saying that you didn't have to answer that question.
5. When I was fourteen or fifteen and going on holiday but could only afford to buy myself either a swimsuit OR a bikini and I'd fallen in love with the swimsuit but wanted the bikini tan I nervously left the changing-room wearing the swimsuit under my clothes and payed for the bikini. I also took the occasional bar of chocolate from a pub I worked in when all else stole the ciggies, and occasionally 'acquired' extra sweeties when buying my supplies when very young. Oh, and I earned my pocket money the summer I was seven and lived on a campsite collecting any empty Corona pop bottles I could lay my hands on, including those out the back of one shop and taking them back to another to get the deposit back (we used to re-use bottles when I was a lass).
*English fannies are NOT the same as American ones: they are girls' front bits not the padding at the back.
Re: I'm now imagining a 'lust' letter written from the same corny instruction book!
Date: 2006-04-26 08:56 pm (UTC)2. Haven't had an orgasm yet, sorry to say, but I already know that clitiris is everything idea is tripe.
3. *grins* I tend to have towels hanging up in my room. It doesn't take more than a moment to grab one. Nor are they terribly neccesary. I'm fairly sure I've gotten blood on almost every single peice of clothing I own by now, as well as bedshhets.
4. It's something I think about sometimes, so it could have been worse. I'm fairly sure he's actually in the phone book these days. I know he used to be. it was the way I knew where to avoid.
5. Daring thing, you. My aquires have almost entirely been by accident. I walked out wearing a pair of shoes once when I went in barefoot at a thrift store because who would think that I wouldn't be wearing shoes when I went in? In fact, I walked out out of a drugstore just this week with something because I'd tucked it into my hand that was carrying my book to get my money out of the pocket and forgot it hadn't gone through the register.
Re: I'm now imagining a 'lust' letter written from the same corny instruction book!
Date: 2006-04-26 10:53 pm (UTC)they're called 'romance novels'
Date: 2006-04-26 10:57 pm (UTC)Re: I'm now imagining a 'lust' letter written from the same corny instruction book!
Date: 2006-04-27 06:55 pm (UTC)I'm sure that's much more common than many women believe. I hate oragasmocentric sex: it's so task orientated and seems to be about 'passing' and 'failing'. There's been times when I've wanted to say, 'would you please stop focusing on that fucking orgasm thing, and just enjoy the pleasure we're having. You're just going to make me self-conscious and ruin it all.' However, that might seem a little rude.
3. Towels, yes, though it can rather ruin the spontaneity of it all.
5.Not things I'm proud of, although rites of passage of my youth. I accidentally didn't pay for a meal when with a friend, as I had a nose bleed and when I cam back from the loo, assumed she's paid. She'd assumed I'd paid when she'd been in the loo. Once outside we realised, laughed and then ran, as the restaurant had been shite and we'd had to complain.
also, yes, tripe. I use it exactly as you.
I admit that towels require more thought than I want to be capable of, yes
Date: 2006-04-27 08:31 pm (UTC)Well, you got a story out of it, which is possibly more than mine. My only story of theft is from when I was a teenager too, though I tend to file it more under scrounging. There was an abandoned hospital next to the school I went to, and we would collect all the neat signs we could find and deocrate our homes with them.
Abandoned buildings are such enticing places
Date: 2006-04-28 03:44 pm (UTC)I've had similar things happen; and other encounters where they were entirely convinced that I had, and I couldn't be bothered to disabuse them of this misperception, as they'd then only start focusing on that instead of the pleasure in hand at that moment (more linguistic evasion than lies).
no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 04:54 pm (UTC)1. What's the thing you most, first and foremost, must never allow your friends and close ones to know, realize or see? Say your tits and you die.
2. If I had a tail, would you hug it?
3. Why do you dance?
4. How often are you just patronizing when you give a compliment?
5. Which one is the real you; or have you abandoned such a concept?
Actually, what the hell. Do me afterwards. There's not enough of "now do me" around here.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 07:20 pm (UTC)2. Course I would, and I would expect it to be rather prehensile, and so able to hug me back.
3. It's an autonomous function, like breathing.
4. Rarely.
5. I'm around all the time, I think, there's just varying levels of vulnerability.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-26 09:21 pm (UTC)There was some gramattical ambiguity about #1, but I think I get it.
Five:
Date: 2006-04-27 09:52 pm (UTC)Have you ever wanted to die?
2)
Have you ever gone through the pockets of someone you just slept with to try to find the scrap of paper where they wrote down your phone number (and remove it) before they wake up?
3)
Have you ever pretended to be in love with someone you weren't in love with, or pretended not to be in love with someone were in love with (or both, or even at the same time, in a room where both those people are talking to each other) for social reasons?
4)
Have you ever cried in an airport?
5)
Do you know where you are going next?
no subject
Date: 2006-04-27 10:04 pm (UTC)2. There's only been once where something like that could apply, but I wanted to stay in contact. It was his life that didn't have room for my name in it.
3. I've pretended not to be in love with one person, but only while we were in company. It would have been.. awkward.
4. Whenever I'm comnig back to Vancouver, I cry.
5. Not at all, and all at once yes. It entirely depends on funding.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 05:51 pm (UTC)2. Do you know what it is you're striving for?
3. If I were to organize an amateur improv night, would you attend, and when this month would be good?
4. If you were given journalistic access to any event or information to write a newspaper article about what would it be?
5. Why do you think people believe you similar to Georg? I know you both and while things you've both said have led me into "that reminds me of..." conversations, I would not think you amazingly alike; yet Georg was telling me that you've both been told you are.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 06:33 pm (UTC)2. To experience as much of the world as I possibly can and effect as much of it in a positive way that I can without too much damage to myself. That and to get the hell out of dodge already. I want to blow the popsicle stand into so many smithereens that not even a sliver will ever be found.
3. I sincerely doubt I ever would.
4. I'd likely try to scam as many show tickets as I could. Try to take over the entertainment section. Critics get passes everywhere.
5. Because we're both a little different, a little hard to pidgeonhole. W're pragmatic romantics, and that's rare.
3.