honesty.

[foxtongue]

A friend has just died from a congenital heart failure. He was going to be twenty seven in three weeks. There's been another school shooting, a new Valentines massacre, murder suicide, not even the first one of the year. I was fired from the Dance Center today, the job I've held the longest in my life, while the grandmother of one of my friends has just been put in the hospital, they don't think she'll survive the week. It all feels a lot like the good guys aren't winning the war, like the future doesn't want to be better.

And yet..


I dream I hold you tightly while we sleep, your limbs tied to mine with fingers, our hips a perfect hiccough, the contraction of a verb, ankles crossed as if even our feet hold hands against the melting darkness, the gathering tomorrow that poses, threatens, over the bed like a crashing wave paused. Like jazz, we make it up as we go along, kissing at the speed of disaster, pushing our moaning mistakes until they became what we meant to do in the first place, all style, wet substance, and tangled, dramatic coherence.

Comments

[uminthecoil.livejournal.com]

...the gathering tomorrow that poses, threatens, over the bed like a crashing wave paused.

I got that far before the tears came...a wee bit of dignified blubbering in the wee hours from a poignancy I've come to expect, but sometimes have no defense for*grin*

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

Aw. I'm sorry, dear.

Love you too.

[uminthecoil.livejournal.com]

Time & time again, you have this way of so insightfully describing your own world that it often appears like a host of universal truths, where were all a good deal more of who we really are inside - and so, followed closely by sadness, tears are largely an applause in this case*grin*

[thirteenletters.livejournal.com]

My thoughts, for whatever they are worth, are with you.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

I'm looking forward to March 18th. These long gray days simply cannot contain what I ask of them.

[swingland.livejournal.com]

didn't you skip ahead to the end of the book, yet? the good guys win in the end. everyone lives happily ever after.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

A book isn't worth reading if you have to skip to the end.

[silveredmane.livejournal.com]

Yeah. The world is coming to a cusp, speeding up exponentially. So it's important to do whatever we can the best we can, so we can each live with ourselves as long as possible, and find experiences of satisfaction and pleasure and awe wherever we can.

I love you lots, precious goddaughter.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

The other Valentine I sent out said "I carry your heart with me/even though it causes problems/at airport security checks."

[http://users.livejournal.com/___anomaly___/]

... filled with anachronistic rusted gears ... ps - don't forget to bare a nut cracker.

.:.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___anomaly___/]

is that really your godmother? what wise words, none thee less!

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

Yes, she is. We're very lucky to have found each other.

[kahoki.livejournal.com]

2008 hasn't delivered on being a fresh start, as problems from 2007 rolled over into the new year, friends have suffered injuries great and small, as well as losing loved ones to accidents and sickness. While all of these things occur naturally, it seems that good news to balance things out is in short supply.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on where we lay our focus. Mine tends to be very social based and I've been very isolated lately, so I'm falling into myself, which isn't a very happy place.

.:.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___anomaly___/]

=( ... find strangers to take pictures of ... just hand them a flower or rock and take there picture.

Re: .:.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___anomaly___/]

ah, be forewarned ... you might make a few enemies! but it really shows you the nature of who's genuine. hopefully, no one throws the rock back in your face!

.:.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___anomaly___/]

where'd you get the pic? sigh ... i say, indeed.

Re: .:.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

The pic is by jasonsho and can be found here. I've been using it every year.

.:oy!!!zut allur!!!:.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___anomaly___/]

"honestly???!!!!"

when everything is ///that/// over-baring, what else can one do but laugh? and swell in a moment of blissful escape, somewhere in a dark closet assuming to shut out the world.

as i always say "sip on dreams, choke on reality."


ps - what happens on the 18th?

Re: .:oy!!!zut allur!!!:.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

p.s. Seattle's only three hours away.

Buckethead
Special Guest: That 1 Guy

Tue, March 18th, 2008 9:00 PM (Doors open at: 8:00 PM)
Neumos Crystal Ball Reading Room
925 East Pike Street, Seattle, WA (206 749-9467)
All Ages. $20.00 Advance. $25.00 Day Of Show. Tickets available from TicketsWest

Re: .:oy!!!zut allur!!!:.

[eastvanhalen.livejournal.com]

With Buckethead? AUGH! But John can't come, he has to work Wednesday and it's too chancy...augh!

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

Why's it too chancy? Does he work in the evenings? It's only a three hour drive.

[eastvanhalen.livejournal.com]

No, 7 a.m. shift, and he doesn't want to risk missing it because he gets home at 5 a.m. I'm trying to convince him otherwise, at this point to no avail.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

Nothing says you have to hang out after, heh.

Re: .:oy!!!zut allur!!!:.

[bluedream.livejournal.com]

Buckethead!! That's awesome, never seen him live. Wonder if he ever plays ukulele live :) That should be a good show. Might have to think about going.

Seeing Marilyn Manson tomorrow night in Seattle and he puts on quite a theatrical show. Might not be a bad idea to wear my Docs.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

I forget that Manson's still an active performer. I've never been to any of his shows, but I've only heard favourable reviews.

As for mike's gig with Buckethead, I'm deff going. I'm going to be looking into getting a group together soon, see who else would be up for a mini road trip.

[bluedream.livejournal.com]

Manson took a break for a few years, then put out a very heartfelt album. Should be a spectacular performance.

Glad you mentioned Buckethead.. Since I live in a Seattle, kind of a no-brainer to go see the show. It would be like not going to a Mutaytor show here.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

Mutaytor? I thought you were in Seattle, or are you an L.A. ex-pat?

[bluedream.livejournal.com]

Just a Seattle Burner with a few L.A. friends. :)

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

I was utterly shocked when I heard the news. I'm so glad they recovered, Mike and I were concerned.