foxtongue: (Default)
foxtongue ([personal profile] foxtongue) wrote2009-04-14 11:39 am

to further clarify/muddy the waters

Doctors confirm woman's imaginary third arm.

I have returned from the Middle America with a ridiculous amount of ice-cream. Richard, my darling ride home, wanted to stop and shop on the way back, and blessed be, he had a cooler. Now my freezer is creaking at the seams like a cruelly overstuffed, force fed goose of pure deliciousness. Once again, I can spend time with a spoon and flavours like Hawaiian Lehua Honey & Sweet Cream ice-cream or Pomegranate Choco Chip, (not available in Canada), sold by the quart, (which also doesn't happen up North). Life is good. (Though seriously, United States, knock it the fuck off with the corn syrup.)

Thankfully, too, life is good for other reasons. I have returned from Seattle spontaneously engaged to my friend Rafael, which was a bit of a surprise, even though I was the one who proposed, (while under the influence of vast quantities of chocolate and a rather well timed foot-rub), especially as I'm still single, which seems both seamlessly appropriate and monumentally unfair. As I said to Frank earlier, being a pair of only relatively nice Jewish children, we decided it would be the most fun if we continued with it enough to declare it three times in three days, which is sort of the Judaic networking equivalent to jumping over a broomstick, just to see what would happen. It's not like we're writing up a Ketubah or anything, (1. facebook 2. twitter. 3. livejournal), but as a social experiment goes, we're rocking the house. His family, for example, seem to completely support us in this "decision" for no reason I can fathom.

Also while at Norwescon, I woke up wrapped in the embrace of two, count them, two incredibly distractingly attractive young men, something I've never done before, (no, I'm still not 'getting any', shove off you perverts), the morning after I gave up my last surviving pair of black pants for SCIENCE!!* Sexy SCIENCE!! even, as they were donated to further experimentation when it was discovered that once Tony's svelte, wiggling, dance-floor hips are sheathed in my pants instead of hidden under a kilt, they set the ladies on fire. I approve of ladies on fire. The only drawback is that I am now almost completely pantsless. So - internet - where does a girl go to buy black pants in Vancouver? I haven't the vaguest clue.

In the Event That You Have Accidentally Swallowed the Higgs Boson


*SCIENCE!! is not actually real science, it is science with jazz hands.

[identity profile] coffeeman.livejournal.com 2009-04-14 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
This post is chock full of win!

I'm glad you posted the bit about swallowing the Higgs boson. I've been very concerned about what to do in that event.

telepathic sea sponges control all

[identity profile] porphyre.livejournal.com 2009-04-14 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
And now you know.

[identity profile] wyldkyss.livejournal.com 2009-04-14 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
There is so much SCIENCE! and chocolate in this post that my mind can not contain it all.

[identity profile] porphyre.livejournal.com 2009-04-14 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I think Robin said he dropped $200 on chocolate for the weekend. We were stuffing cocoa bars into his backpack like robbers stuffing cash into a sack. It was an amazing amount.

[identity profile] wyldkyss.livejournal.com 2009-04-14 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I suspect you're done with chocolate for a while if there was that much to go around...

[identity profile] donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 12:27 am (UTC)(link)
Urban Planet's actually pretty decent when it comes to inexpensive jeans of various styles and colours. If I can stuff my butt into them, you'll do fine re sizes.

The Metrotown location's much bigger than the Granville location, so you're probably best off choosing the former over the latter.

[identity profile] porphyre.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 04:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll check it out! Thanks! Any suggestions for pants that are not jeans?

[identity profile] donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 05:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Ehn. Bootlegger? Except the only one of those I know of is in Brentwood Mall.

[identity profile] bonefinder.livejournal.com 2009-04-17 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
army surplus!

[identity profile] kencf0618.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations on the chocolate, etc.

[identity profile] porphyre.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 04:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Speaking of chocolate, there's a new place in Queen Anne called Chocopolis or some such that has some of the most amazing chocolates I've ever had. I bit into one of their citrus caramels and it was like time stopped. My skin flushed, my heartbeat jacknifed, my eyes dilated. It was like staring into the warm, wet stare of my hidden libido.

The balsamic strawberry was pretty darned good too, though the lime jewel was slightly more creamy than I wanted it to be.

It was a sight to see

[identity profile] a-dream-tiger.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I can testify that her visible reaction when she first tasted the citrus caramel was entirely compatible with that description. And then I tasted it and was able to further corroborate.

Also I am sorry that:
1. I was oblivious to these spontaneously combusting and toppling ladies of which you spoke. I don't always notice much when I'm dancing.
2. I left you pantsless
3. the weekend was only three meager days.

-TtT

[identity profile] porphyre.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I got some prety darned sweet photos of you dancing to offer as proof at a later date.
2. Pants are replaceable.
3. We should make a widget that counts down the days until my next trip to Seattle.

[identity profile] themythicalman.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
Once again, I can't tell if you're serious re: the proposal. It does seem like the sort of thing you'd do, because you *can*. But still. If you are serious, congratulations: I hope that you will be very happy together. If you are not serious ... well, be happy anyway.

You crazy, neo-tech-hippies. I swear to Yoda.

re: seriousness

[identity profile] porphyre.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 04:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose I should ask him. Heh.

Re: seriousness

[identity profile] themythicalman.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Ummmm ... yeah. Maybe you should, although I'd personally be more worried about the Mother-In-Law. Not as though I know your betrothed, but still: don't cross the Mom (no pun intended).

[identity profile] porphyre.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I've met her, actually. She's nice. She likes fish.

And that is sort of all I know.

[identity profile] themythicalman.livejournal.com 2009-04-15 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, being the Middle-Aged Person that I am, I advise caution. Which I'm sure you'll completely ignore, in which case: Godspeed, lass. My prayers are with you.