my life as a misery ghost

[foxtongue]

Portal 2: Exile Vilify, a hidden song by The National
Monday: It was just after midnight when he opened the door. In the interest of brevity, I will leave out the next three hours, excepting my desire to be wanted, kicked in like a knife, a piercing pain that has yet to fade. Suffice to say, A. has gone away. Like in the old stories, antique, anonymous and trying, everyone a letter instead of a name, places expressed as an initial and an em dash. Off to the sanitarium, he cried!

After: I sat crumpled in the street where I had been dropped, left salty eyed blind and exhausted, my glasses on the hood of a stranger's cold truck, too tired to stand, even as the the night evaporated as thoroughly as the warmth on my body where his hands had apologized and cradled me goodbye.

So that, for now, is that. After a multitude of absences and various failure situations, he has decided that he is not currently capable of being responsible in regards to my un/happiness and has withdrawn from my life. I do not know when he will return or in what state, but it is my hope, however small, however sad, that he will come home to me when he can.

Comments

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

You are a treasure and I miss you and I love you and I hope I see you soon. Plane tickets have indeed come through, but to NYC. I'm going to be there for my birthday, May 20th to June 2nd. I will wave from the air and continue to scheme of ways to get down to you.